How many times have you just wished someone would tell you what to do?
You’ve canvassed everyone you know and even a few people you don’t. You’ve stared endlessly into space, read your horoscope, googled it and asked for divine guidance and yet you still seem to be going over what ifs and maybes.
Well I can’t give you the answer ( you knew that right?)
But I can share the decision making formula I and many of my job seeking clients have used to make life changing decisions for themselves:
Step 1- Vow it
You are going to have to take a few oaths in order to get the very best result for you. Ok, so repeat after me:
I vow to show courage and be completely honest with myself
I vow to stick to my core beliefs
I vow to look at the consequences
I vow not to judge after the decision has been taken, only during the process
I vow to handle it not working out
Step 2 – Pros & Cons
Good old positives and negatives. Really scope and outline them all. Include how it will effect others apart from yourself. As well as the negatives and positives, list all of your emotional responses to each point as well, identify and get as specific as possible. Dig deep. For example if you say, I choose to leave my job, ask yourself …and that makes me feel….and that makes me feel…and that makes me feel. Get underneath your first knee jerk response. Exhaust the list until you really cannot think of anymore implications.
Step 3 – Confront your fears
Which things from your list really jump out at you? Acknowledge that this is a lonely place. No matter if other people are involved, you need to come to your own decision and look at what scares you the most. What is truly the worst that could happen? What are you really afraid of? What is the evidence to support the fact that this could be the outcome? Would there be any warning signals before that event so that you could adjust your course?
Step 4 – Face Your Fantasy
What is your deepest wish? Are you harbouring any secret longings? Any outcomes you are really attached to?
Step 5 – Options
Look at all of your options, including doing nothing. Is there any implication to not taking a decision at this time? If you can slow it down, give it time. The answer may present itself down the line, a 3rd, 4th or even 11th option could emerge.
Step 6 – Take it
Close your eyes, breathe out and state aloud your decision. Simply take it. Don’t share it yet,sleep on it.
Step 7 – Confirmation
How did you sleep? Take the decision again. Deep breathe, state aloud your intention. Write it down this time. Sleep on it again.
How do you feel now?
Move on with the decision you have made.
Let the outcome of alternate decisions go. Just let go. Understand that every fork in the road may lead to another and yet ultimately wind up at the same destination.
Congratulate and reward yourself on taking such a tough choice and coming to your own terms.
What difficult decisions have you faced and what helped you during that time?